I'm a runner. It's official.

I had a horrible customer service experience at my local Starbucks this morning. Even though we had fun catching up with friends, I came home shaky and feeling funky. Went to Target for some retail therapy. Upstairs for some solitary chill time. Downstairs for more chill time. Uno time. Nothing felt good, really.

Then it hit me: I missed my run. I mean, I MISSED my run.

You know what that means? I've had running highs, and today, for the first time in a long time, I experienced withdrawal.

I'm a runner!!!

The story of Tuesday

Tuesday. It wasn't good. There were so many things wrong with Tuesday!

The morning was okay: good run with my Love, refreshing shower, ready and out the door on time. I felt good. And then, as I started driving to work, you know how the car doors lock as soon as you hit 15 or 20 mph? Most of mine locked, but the driver side door clicked maybe three times, and oh yeah, didn't lock. I had to figure out a way to lock it without using the key clicker thing. And I had to drive from Tulare to Visalia that day, to a sketchy part of town; I needed my door lock to work!

Ugh. I got to work, and - because my life revolves around food and when I'm going to eat next - I started thinking about lunch. I thought a Costco Polish dog sounded cheap, quick, and easy...and on my way from the meeting in Visalia back to my home office in Tulare. Perfect. Wait: do I have my Costco card? A quick check in my wallet showed that no, I don't have my Costco card. Or my AmEx. Or my work ID badge, that I needed in order to get into that meeting!

Now I couldn't think about anything else BUT where my cards were, and how I could get them in time. Driving from Tulare to Visalia takes about 25 minutes on a normal day; I was allotted 30 minutes to get there, and 30 minutes to get back. The cards HAD to be somewhere at my house, which is on the way, so I decided to make a quick stop. It would have to be quick. Aha!! The cards! They had to be in a pocket. What I wore yesterday (definitely a skirt) and whatever I wore last week to Costco.

11:00 I bolted out the door, zoomed off to my house.

11:06 I was home, and rooting around through hanging skirts and folded pants in drawers.

11:08 Found all three cards, and ran out the door.
* * * I got behind about a million little old ladies, slow cars, and red lights. Or moving vans. Or there was a cop  (honestly, I don't usually speed; actually, my Love sometimes wishes I would go faster, but I'm a scared driver, and don't want to go more than three to five mph over the speed limit).* * *

11:32 I was late. LATE. (Not that kind of "late." At least, yet.) I hate being late. So embarrassing! And, I had to do the funky lock dance with my driver side door. And I chose today - of ALL days! - to wear 4" stilettos. Smart.

11:33 Picture me, RUNNING, in the heels, to the door, sweaty and lugging a bulky, coin-jangly purse. Verrrrry professional, I know.

11:34 I walked into the meeting LATE, trying to calm my breathing, and saw that the person speaking was someone that my Love works with. Pretty closely. And who is also my boss's boss's boss's boss's boss (no, I'm not kidding: five levels). Ugh, embarrassing.

12:30 I decided to apologize to this person, and decided to kind of tease her, saying we should go out for dinner-n-drinks again, and then I started saying things that I have NO idea...! WHY was I...? Who was this talking? It was an out-of-body thing, a moment in time that I wish I could've just stopped myself, but I just kept on...! Fortunately, she just nodded, smiled, gave me a hug and said goodbye. Oh please, just let me crawl under a rock! I wanna go back to bed, start all over.

12:45 Called my Love. No answer. Started considering skipping the Polish dog and going straight for the froyo instead. At least it wouldn't be the real ice cream.

12:55 My Love called me back, and said it would be good if I wanted to stop by his office (which, conveniently enough, was on my way back to my home office). I parked and as I reached the top of the stairs in the building, I saw a security guard that used to work where I used to work. He asked if I'd heard, and then he told me the story of an old coworker that had recently been arrested and is currently serving time for a very serious crime, for which he'll have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

1:00 Deflated and defeated, and wanting more than ever to just go home and crawl under the covers, I walked to my Love's office. I verbally vomited for a few minutes, breathed, and relaxed just a bit. Nervous I was keeping him from work (busy guy!), I headed back home to get lunch, then back to my home office, where the rest of the day was - fortunately - dull and uneventful.

That day, I posted a picture on Instagram - one of me and my Love in his office. Patient man, nodding and smiling with the crazy chick. I wondered what else could've gone wrong, and was scolded for saying that, because "famous last words!"

So Wednesday, I decided I'd had enough junk this week, and wanted to try the Sonic PB & bacon milkshake. I don't usually go to Sonic; actually, it's been YEARS - maybe seven? - since I last ate at Sonic. And that time, I walked up. I've literally NEVER driven through a Sonic. I am NOT familiar with the drive-in drive-thru crap. Plus, I felt guilty even being there. Oh yeah, and because my car was in the shop, I was driving my Love's car, and I'm not used to driving it.

So I pulled up to an empty drive-in spot. Wait, there was no one on that side of the lot. Backed out, pulled to the other side. I couldn't reach the card slider thing. Wait: I didn't really want to do this. Did I? Oh...it's just once. Backed out, tried the drive-thru.

"What can I get for you today?"
"Can I get a small PB & bacon shake please?"
"Huh?"
"Umm... umm... never mind."

And I drove away, but in the process, my foot slipped from the gas pedal, and in my rush to hit it again, the top of my foot SMACKED the back of the brake pedal. It stung, though. It REALLY hurt. Like, REALLY really!

Ugh. My own stupid clumsiness knows no bounds.

Alarms, smoothies, ducks, and risks

The alarm rang at 4:15-ish, as always, but the variable here (during weekdays) is my Love. This morning, even though I started cuddling him and nudging him awake, he just didn't wanna. And so we didn't. I hit my snooze, and he hit his.

A little later, while he got ready for his day (including making our green smoothies), I got ready for my run. I had five miles in mind, with a Starbucks at the finish line (if and only if I actually did the full five); but it wasn't meant to be. I was short on time, and did only half that: 2.5 miles.


But I saw a duck, I tried a (kind of) new (to me) app, and kinda sorta wanted to die in the heat.

At lunch (an hour-long break in the middle of the day is was too long for me), I was trying to figure out what to do with my time. Productive, but nothing too sweaty. Nothing too productive. Yadda yadda, I dared myself to do something, to put myself out there, to take a risk. I did it, and now I'm kind of just waiting for something to happen. If it does, it'll make me really excited and happy, and eager to put myself out there again and again!!


Speaking of "out there," here's what my wet hair looks like after a sweaty run, but before a shower. Good times.

When was the last time you took a risk, and/others put yourself "out there"? Isn't that feeling exhilarating?

Me, in short - and TAG!

I saw this on Skinny Chick Blog the other day, and really liked it, so here goes nothing.

A)  Attached or single?
Attached. Married to my best friend, my Love, Tim. We'll be married seven years this month! Just love the heck outta him.

B)  Best friend?
My Love, Tim. I can't get enough of him. I love the time we spend together, the adventures and even boring daily junk we do together, but also I love that we can have our separate times. We understand each other, and I love it!

C)  Cake or pie?
Yes, please. Both. I don't discriminate. Cake, pie, cookies, brownies, ice cream. Everything. I'll take it all. As long as it doesn't have too much food coloring, like maybe it's not dark blue...or green...or red, or orange, or purple, or yellow, or black.

D)  Day of the week?
Saturday and Sunday for now, until I get back on my alternate work schedule (Mon-Thu, 7 am-5:30 pm); then, it'll be Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I'm a homebody, for the most part. I love relaxing at home.

E)  Essential item?
Nail clippers and Burt's Bee's honey lip balm.

F)  Favorite color?
Blue. Every shade. Always has been my favorite color. Also, purple.

G)  Gummy bears or worms?
No, thanks; I'll pass.

H)  Hometown?
Nowhere, USA. I was born in Crawley (near Lafayette), Louisiana; I spent eight years in Saudi Arabia, four in upstate New York, a year or two here and there in Utah, and almost 20 years in different places in California. Home is where you make it - I don't like thinking of anywhere in California as my "hometown."

I)  Indulgence?
Chocolate. Milk, not dark or white. Crappy reality TV shows that make you want a cold shower. Ice cream. Baked goods. Candy. Running. Hiking. Biking. Talking. Writing. Sleeping. Reading. Eating. Doodling. People watching. In short: too many to mention.

J)  January or July?
January. I love bundling up. You can always add clothing, but when it's 100* outside, what can you do? Nothing!

K)  Kids?
Not yet... Just a couple of doggies (a border collie and a chihuahua/terrier mix).

L)  Life isn't complete without...?
Baked goods. Family and friends. Sappy stuff. And books. Lots and lots of books.

M)  Marriage date?
07/20/2006. Told ya': seven years. 

N)  Number of siblings?
Two, both brothers: Dave is ten years older, and Xander was three years younger (he passed away a little more than a year and a half ago from complications of a seizure).

O)  Oranges or apples?
Apples, for sure. Oranges are way more difficult to peel, and can squirt in your eye. I'm a big fan of fruit in general, though. I love watermelon, honeydew, cantaloupe, blueberries, strawberries, mango, persimmons...the list goes on.

P)  Phobias?
Spiders and heights, mainly.

Q)  Quote?
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're probably right."

R)  Reason to smile?
     1)  Trying new things
     2)  Visiting new (and old) places
     3)  Running
     4)  Living and loving my life
     5)  Baked goods

S)  Season of choice?
Autumn. Fresh air, great flavors and scents. Halloween and everything pumpkin. A respite from the oppressive heat of Central Valley summers. Corn mazes.

T)  Tag three people.
No thanks. Anyone who reads this, tag yourself. Do it - fun stuff!

U)  Unknown fact about me:
I can say the alphabet backwards! My dad wanted to figure it out when I was maybe five or six years old, and we worked on it before bed one night, but couldn't work it all out that night. Yadda yadda, I woke up and knew the alphabet backward. Maybe my dad whispered it into my ear a few times while I was asleep; maybe not. I can still do it.

V)  Vegetable?
All of 'em, except for uncooked onions. I love to eat, and I really don't discriminate. I love practically all foods. Fruits, veggies, everything. I really love cut tomatoes sprinkled with sea salt.

W)  Worst habit?
I plead the fifth. No, let's get serious: my worst habit ever, is picking at and peeling the skin off of my fingers. Yes, seriously.

X)  X-ray or ultrasound?
I don't understand the question.

Y)  Your favorite food?
I love it all. Italian. Thai. Anything spicy. Mexican. Salsa. Soups.

Z)  Zodiac sign?
Pisces, but I don't really buy into that kind of thing. To each his own.