Wednesday, July 15, 2015

We used to have a life

You know, I used to have a life. I used to do stuff. I used to be more useful than this.

Sometimes, I remember what our/my life was like before there was a mini version of us. We had our routine, but we traveled, too. We saw movies in the theater. We could meet friends for frozen yogurt on a whim. We could drop everything and go somewhere on the spur of the moment. Naturally, we didn't normally (or ever, really) do that kind of thing, but we could've. It was an option. It was out there.

Now, going out takes a lot of planning, whether we're taking the Munchkin or not. Food. Drinks. Diapers. Toys. Blankets. Pacifiers. A stroller. Instructions for a babysitter. It's complicated and stressful and anxiety-inducing.

But it's the best thing, honestly. There are parts of the whole thing that I could definitely do without, but overall, we've worked out a great system now. Him and me. Me and The Munchkin. Him and The Munchkin. All three of us. It took MONTHS - and those were some long, very tiring, trying months, but it is so worth it. I wouldn't change anything.

For the record, I wasn't sure I wanted to have a second kid, but after we finally worked out our system and how we all interact, everything fell into place, and I'm really excited (and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous) about adventure #2: Peanut. I know it'll take months or even longer to adjust to a family of four instead of three, but I know well get there, and it'll work. Everything will be fine... Eventually... Assuming I survive the sleepless nights.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Recent thoughts

It's been a while...
A lot has happened...

Today, at about 4.5 months (or 19 weeks and 3 days) pregnant, I managed to keep going on an elliptical for TWENTY minutes. You have to understand that we have an elliptical at home that I can't manage for even five minutes. And I'm not even exaggerating. It's pathetic.

Also pathetic: my cravings for things that are bad for me. Not just because I'm pregnant, either. Ugh. The last time I had a prenatal checkup (NOT with my normal doctor), the wench gave me a five minute lecture on my weight. Which always makes a pregnant woman feel amazing and wonderful and nothing negative... No pregnant woman would ever want to cut a bitch like that. Nooo...

I'm nervous: how is this while second kid thing supposed to go? I worry about everything: Leaving Katelyn with someone...  Bringing home an infant again... Sibling jealousy... Sleeplessness... I bet these are all very normal things in the world, but not in my world. Not yet, anyway.