Saturday, March 31, 2012

I might be back!

I haven't been running recently, because I haven't felt like it. And my lack of motivation to wake up  at 4:00 or 4:15 or 4:30 in the morning three times a week, has come with consequences. I've had a serious decrease in energy. I've felt a LOT more negative. Not "depressed," just...not as happy and peppy. My lack of motivation has made me less motivated. I know, it's weird logic, but it's true. It's a vicious cycle, I get it. But how do you stop a cycle like this? 

Answer: you tell your husband about it until he gets the hint and kicks your butt into gear on a Friday morning, and tells you to go on an almost-ten-mile bike ride around the neighborhood. 

Yup, that did the trick. After that, I just wanted to keep going! He was done riding, but I wanted to run! All of a sudden, I was back. Or at least, I felt like I was back. I didn't go out and run, only because we had places to go, things to do, people to see. That's my story for yesterday. Today, I didn't "run" per se, because we were busy once again, running around the house and town: cleaning, lunching, movie watching, then it started raining, so we're FINALLY chilling, doing our own thing. 

Tomorrow, though? Lollipops and ass-whoopin's, baby! Lollipops and ass-whoopin's!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Runner's block?

Every so often, I hit a wall. I fall into a rut. And it's hard to find my way out. This time, I kinda stopped running, and it made me sad. Running had become a friend, that I slowly realized how much I missed.

We had a few chance encounters, but something was lacking. Something wasn't quite right.

At the same time, coming off of the tremendous high of my first half marathon, I wanted to spend time being creative in the kitchen.

Call it coincidence or kismet. Frustration or neediness. I think the issue is resolved. I made two things of peanut butter cups, and two loaves of bread this past weekend. I think that may be my solution to creativity block that accompanies running block.

Now, wish me luck waking up in 6 hours. Speaking of grumpy...

Saturday, March 24, 2012

You got peanut butter all over my chocolate!

Oh. My. Gosh.

These things are absolute heaven. I'm sure I could eat a whole tray of these things before I puked, passed out, and went into a sugar coma. But it would be worth it.

Oh, wow. These things are goooood! I may have to make them again to take to work on Monday.

They're home made Reese's. Did I mention that they are soooo good? Yeah, they really are.

Monday, March 19, 2012

If you could run a race anywhere...

I love to travel, and I love to run. I've only done a run on one vacation, ever. But it was great, so I think maybe I should do it more often. Maybe in Hawaii when we're there later this year.

But if I could run anywhere, I think I would again combine it with a vacation in that spot. My top choices would be:
1 London. Running in the thick, cold, damp fog might be fun.
2 Dublin, because it would mean no driving, but still get to enjoy the scenery.
3 Salt Lake City (again, scenery)

Where would you want to run?

Saturday, March 17, 2012


"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."
     - Theodore Rubin

I woke up ready and eager to run, at least a couple of miles. But then I moved from semi- to full-consciousness, and in doing so I heard the rain. Not just light sprinkles, either. Hard rain. Even hail, I was told.

Plus, there was wind. Again, not just light wind here and there, but more like maybe 30mph or so gusts.

So we watched tv for a bit, and towards the end of the episode, the light shone through the clouds, and I decided as soon as the episode finished, I would run. And as soon as the episode finished, it had started raining and blowing just like before.

It was a sign, I think. So I'm trying to readjust my thinking. The rain was not a problem. It was an opportunity. An opportunity to try something else, like yoga or a Biggest Loser video. Or do something crafty. Or read a book. Or watch tv and cuddle with my sweetie.

Sometimes, I think, it just ain't meant to be. Maybe my sore throat will go away by tomorrow anyway.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Aren't you afraid?

I have some pretty intense anxiety sometimes, and it's only gotten worse after X was left to die. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe, and I just want to curl in a ball and sob forever. But that's just not me, it's not what I do, it's not who I am.

Then, what do I do? Who am I? I'm afraid that it won't get easier as time goes on, and I'm afraid that it will get easier.

Obviously, I need time to think. Time by myself, without interruptions. But where can I get that? I know: running. So I run sometimes at night, after I get home from work. But at that time of day, all I really want to do is easy dinner, veg on the couch, and go to bed as soon as possible. Besides, I don't have the same motivation at 6:00pm that I do at 5:00am. But 5 is too late to start running. So 4:00.

I know I should get up and go ("it builds character," right?), but I'm just so tired. And my bed feels so nice at 4am.

Then what is the solution, I ask? Where is the answer? Is it all one way or the other, a combination, a compromise? Of one thing, I am sure: quitting is definitely not an option. I think I need to just suck it up, admit I'm old and should probably start going to early bird dinners (ehh, they're cheaper anyway).

Today is the end of my work week, so it's perfect. I'll start running on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings, about 5 to 7 miles at a time. Then on Sundays, I'll run long, maybe 8 to 10 miles. Perfect.

Starting tomorrow.

Sunday, March 11, 2012


I started off kinda slow, at 11: something for the first mile, but it was super crowded, so I wasn't too hard on myself. Running through downtown was great, with wide open running areas. Less crowding = more freedom to pass other runners.

But then we got on the bike path, and it narrowed and constricted. I was stuck behind a couple of chicks complaining about men. Not my idea of great conversation. So I charged ahead, feeling great after five miles.

I still hadn't eaten a ShotBlok, so I walked while I ate one, and quickly got back to running. I started to lose some momentum by the end of the trail, between miles seven and eight. I kicked it up again when I saw my support group (the one guy I can always count on) ready, poised to take a picture while he was walking around Old Sac.

Mile ten I hit a wall like never before (and hopefully never again). I could barely keep up my 10:00 pace, and the 2:20 pacer was nowhere in sight. Did I pass him? Did he pass me? Who knew? And really, at that point, if I hadn't seen him for the first eleven miles, I was questioning his existence at all.

This race was never going to end. I knew it. So I texted my guy, "this sucks." He texted me back: "You're right. You should just quit now. Give up. You can't make it the whole way." And I started running again. Yep, I needed that swift kick to get me started again.

I kept going, every once in a while stopping to walk, but eventually, we came up to the bridge and my garmin told me I'd already gone 12.4 miles. There was a girl running in front of me that asked a volunteer, "please, are we close?" After the volunteer told her there was only a little more than a half mile left, the girl let out a sigh of relief (so did I), but then kinda slowed down. Why? Just hearing someone say it aloud made me kick it into even higher gear.

I could see the stadium. Raley. Field. Was. Right. There. Finally. Only 13 miles later, geez! Turned a couple if corners, and ran into the stadium, had a couple of harried pictures taken, and crossed the finish line at 2:24 gun time, 2:22 chip time. I was just overjoyed to be done. Finished.

I walked out of the stadium thinking I'd never do that distance again, but now, less than a week later, I'm re-thinking that. I wish I had signed up for the half marathon that's happening just a couple miles from my house in just over a week.

They should make pills for this.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Waking up sucks

I think I need to move somewhere that doesn't do the whole "daylight savings" thing, because this sucks. I'm trying to fool my body into springing forward a week early (so I won't be so tired next weekend, the weekend - actually the day of - the race), but so far I'm failing miserably. My alarm went off at 4:30 this morning, and...right back to sleep. Tomorrow, my alarm is going off at 4:15, just so I know I'll have plenty of time to get five miles done before my day really begins.

I know this week is going to fly by, and my first half marathon will be over before I even realize it. I'll be eating Hawaiian haystacks and cake (homemade, thank you mom), talking with friends and family, and then it'll hit me: what's next? I need to find another half marathon (or at least a ten-miler) to keep me motivated. I know: without a reason to run, without a reason to up my distance and speed, it's just too easy to lay back and get fat over the summer. And I do NOT want to do that. Not again.*

* Technically, I didn't get "fat" last summer, but I got softer than I was during the spring, and I still don't want even that to happen. No fat. No soft. No. Just no.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

1 week

It's just a week until my first half marathon. I'm working on my orange, green and white tulle tutu. I'm waiting for my shirt to dry (so I can paint the back too). I'm nervous that something will happen to make it so I DNS or DNF. I kinda wish our friends could be there. Next time, I'll do a race closer to home.

I did about eight miles this morning, and it felt great. It was kinda fun to run around the park across the street, because there was a race going on... Or, at least, waiting to start going. The place was crowded! Tons of kids, too! It was nice to have the road blocked off, not have to worry about cars.

I think I'll run four miles tomorrow (Monday), five on Wednesday, four on Thursday, then... (drum roll, fingers crossed)... 13.1 miles on Sunday! And be back up to ten miles next weekend. Again: fingers crossed. Time will tell. I know this week will fly by, though. It'll all be over SO soon!