Friday, March 21, 2014

High hopes, dashed

I had high hopes for this afternoon's baby appointment. But, maybe it just want meant to be. Every day, I think, TODAY could be baby's birthday. But that day isn't March 21st. At least, not THIS baby. Maybe tomorrow, but I doubt it. I'm starting to think she'll be even more difficult than me and Tim combined, and she'll wait until April...

So the appointment wasn't what I expected. I expected something that couldn't happen. I expected the something that could've pushed me into labor, but because even the procedure itself couldn't happen, the labor-starting REALLY couldn't happen. Plus, I was only dilated to a one or two, not "at least a two," like I had hoped.

All of this served only to remind me to not have a set of specific expectations. Don't be disappointed because something that I can't control didn't go according to my plans (expectations). I thought I had already learned this lesson years ago, so it's disappointing that I have to learn it all over again. Don't set myself up for failure. Don't try to control what I can't control.

Oh yeah: and don't try to change other people. Women, for example, are an interesting breed. Anyone that knows me will tell you that I'm not exactly the typical chick. So when women turn into spiteful, cruel, vindictive monsters... I just don't know what to say or do. For example: I feel and my doctor has confirmed that baby has dropped, and really, she has no more dropping to do. Despite this, all of these monsters that I work with argue that my doctor and I are wrong, that baby hasn't dropped yet. How can you argue with that?

"Yes she has."
"No, she hasn't."
"Doctor said so."
"She's wrong."
"Well, I feel like she's dropped."
"Well, you're wrong."

...and I'm at a loss. What do you say to that? I just don't know. The same thing happened with waddling, when one of these she-devils said that I waddle, and wouldn't take "no I don't" for an answer.

So I guess, along with feeling really uncomfortable not only at work, but also just in my own skin any time I'm awake, AND being away from these "ladies," I'm glad to start my leave. It's just trying to control things I can't, right? Why does that stress me out as much as it does? It shouldn't, right? I hope I'm not the only one.

Words of wisdom?
Any hope?

1 comment:

  1. Oh Betsy, you and I are the sane when it comes to worrying and stressing about things we can't control. I'm not a mom, so I can't give any mommy advice. But I know that everyone will have an opinion. They will tell you how you should this and that. She will be here soon! Just enjoying every little moment you have to yourself and with Tim until then. Just breathe and try not to worry. Easier said that done. I know I'll be the exact way when I'm pregnant, and then you can talk me through it. Love ya! -Kara


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.