Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A morning in the life

Hi. Katelyn here. I wanted to show everyone what my day was like today, because I know it must be very interesting to everyone else. Plus, you get to see inside my sometimes devious, sometimes cranky, sometimes food-coma mind. So, without further ado, here you go.

1:58 a.m.
Good morning. I pooped! First feeding of the day (3 oz, thank you), in the entertainment room with Momma. Back to bed at 2:12, when Momma takes her first Norco of the day so that she can go back to sleep. And not want to cry from pain. I was so tired I even let Momma swaddle with both arms pinned.

5:05 a.m.
Good morning again. Time for another feeding (3 or 4 oz - who can keep track?), this time with Daddy. I love snuggling with him. I just hate that he has to go to work all day long while it's just me and Momma at home. Daddy's more productive than Momma, but Momma can handle my body heat better than he can. But I've got Daddy wrapped around my little finger - he would snuggle me all day if I wasn't such a little furnace, he says.

This is me in Daddy's arms, but it was taken last night as he was trying to fool me into falling asleep so he and Momma could have some alone time. Hahaha - I laugh in the face of "alone time"!

5:55 a.m.
Success! I effectively screwed Momma out of any alone time with Daddy. Total score. Obviously, the world stops when I sleep, so they never get a chance to talk or anything.

Momma's note: isn't Daddy amazingly handsome in his new suit? Answer: yes. Also, she didn't screw me out of anything. We got to talk... a little...

6:33 a.m.
Katelyn: 2
Parents: 0
Score again! Momma was just about to turn on the shower when I started my absolutely adorable morning cooing to signal that I'm awake and all attention should turn to me now. It looks like no shower for Momma yet. Don't worry: I'll pretend to sleep or at least play by myself in my play pen crib if she gets too stinky for me to handle.

6:50 a.m.
I'm still not officially AWAKE awake, which makes Momma a sucker! She could've taken a shower, except she didn't want to have to jump out of it the minute she jumped in. Oh yeah, this is the life. I'm surrounded by people I have wrapped around my little finger. And they're all suckers for me. Mwahahahaha!

6:52 a.m.
Dang it! Hiccups again. Why do I always get hiccups?

7:05 a.m.
I'm awake for the day now, and starving! Seriously, people - what are you trying to do, starve me to death? Honestly! It feels like I haven't eaten in days! Feed me feed me feed me feed me! Oh yeah, diaper first, that's good - just as long as I don't have to wait for Momma to get her food ready, too - that throws off my groove, and you do NOT want to throw off my groove.

That darned Momma - always taking pictures of me. As if nobody's ever seen a baby eat (3 oz) before - am I right?

7:54 a.m.
I'm fed (3 oz) and burped - what now? Time to snuggle with mom, of course! This time, I tried to lick her neck. We laughed, because I'm so freaking cute!

Momma proposed her idea that she takes a shower. I laughed.

8:05 a.m.
Momma's first breakfast - it's like she's a hobbit or something, the way she has to eat every 12 hours or so. Geez! And what a breakfast it was, too: chocolate milk! I guess she decided NOT to take that crazy doctor's advice about cutting out all dairy (good thing, too - I don't want to become lactose intolerant)!

8:08 a.m.
I was just put in my bassinet very unceremoniously and dragged into the bathroom to watch Momma take a shower. Nobody asked MY opinion about this, but it's okay, because I kinda wanted some time to myself, just to relax for a few minutes anyway.

After she got out of the shower, a couple of funny things happened:
1) She stood on something for a few seconds, then smiled really big and said something about losing two more pounds. Let me get this straight: she's trying to LOSE pounds, while she's trying to make me GAIN pounds. What - am I Snow White and she's the evil queen? Is this a beauty contest? I'm gonna break that stupid mirror mirror on the wall thing!
2) She flipped her head up and down like she was at a rock concert or something, and POOF! All of a sudden, it wasn't Momma there - it was MEDUSA, with snakes coming out of her head! Seriously crazy hairdo, Mom. I hope we're not going out in public with you looking all crazy and me looking absolutely adorable again.
NOTE TO SELF: Maybe she's not the evil queen with the mirror mirror on the wall thing, if she's willing to go out like that, and me like this. Maybe.

9:00 a.m.
Momma's second breakfast. She's a creature of habit, that woman. Plain Greek yogurt, mixed with a little vanilla and some mini semi-sweet chocolate chips. Every morning, it's the same thing. Finally, after being practically ignored for what feels like my entire life, I get picked up and cuddled again while Momma turns on what I'm sure will be another crappy tv show just until I fall asleep. Today, she's determined to force me into taking a couple of naps.
Also among her list of goals for today:
1) Go to Target
2) Go to this salon place (not for her, duh)
3) Pump pump pump
4) Drink lots of water
5) Clean kitchen

9:15 a.m.
Sleeping on Momma. Ahh... this is the life!

9:47 a.m.
Minor meltdown in my sleep, just to keep Momma on her toes. The big joke is that I make her think something's actually wrong, but really, I just don't want her to get too comfortable. Sometimes it's gas, or I'm just trying to poop, but more often than not, it's nothing - I'm just a squirmy worm.

11:02 a.m.
I was awakened once again by my own gas. Real cute. My favorite part of being a baby? The interminable gas. Sheesh. Haha - it made Momma think I had a massive poop, though, so that made for an interesting diaper change (mwahaha)!

Mom didn't seem to think I needed to be fed again, though - she took her sweet time warming up my bottle. And then she had to eat again. How many times can she eat? Those two pounds she lost this morning? She's gonna find those again soon. Heifer!

11:25 a.m.
That Momma - what a crackup! She actually thinks we can get these errands taken care of today. Target AND that salon/spa place? Psh. We'll see about that. Wish us luck.

11:43 a.m.
Momma's running around trying to get ready to go, and wouldn't you know it? I got the hiccups again. Ugh!

Well, I guess that's it for my morning. Tune in... sometime soon... for the next installment: "An afternoon in the life." There will be laughter, tears, smiles, gas, and probably poop, too. There's always poop.

I bet your morning wasn't as eventful as mine was today! What was the most exciting part of your morning? Did you poop too?

1 comment:

  1. I have to say, that this is probably the best entry I have ever read!!! Loooove it!!!!


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